Hypothyroidism and Mental Health

When something is not right with your body, don't let someone tell you that you're wrong.

 It was October, and I had wound up in the ER. There was something wrong. My panic attacks had been coming more frequently, usually daily. It got to the point where I knew I couldn't take it anymore.

So, although I was strongly against it and knew that they wouldn't be able to help me, I went to the ER in desperation at the encouragement of my family. As I spent hours in the waiting room with the dozens of others seeking midnight help, I couldn't help but feel trapped by my decision to come. And when I finally did get seen by the physician I felt stupid for coming. I could feel their disapproval boring through me. I had come to the EMERGENCY room for some anxiety. Why did I even come?

They did lab work, urinalysis, blood tests, and they gave me some Vallium to help calm me down. The biggest shock came when they returned only to tell me that my thyroid levels were abnormal. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism that night, and they told me to present to my primary care physician to regulate and follow my thyroid issues.

Here's the thing about the thyroid. It releases hormones that regulate many other areas of the body. Issues that arise related to mental health are anxiety, depression, stress, and mood swings. I was put on a thyroid medication. They also prescribed an anti-depressant for the anxiety panic disorder I had developed.

I went from being unmedicated and gripping erratically to my sanity, to being medicated and completely inconsolable. I have grown incredibly worse these past few months...depressed, anxious, hardly able to leave the house, self mutilating, contemplating suicide, having increased intensity of panic attacks. I quit my job that I have had for over three years. I started a new job and left that after only 5 weeks. I couldn't be around people. I hated myself and couldn't even stand my own presence. It got to the point that even knowing that there were other people in the world would overwhelm me. I cried hysterically balled up in the fetal position for no reason. I felt empty and alone. I wanted no one around, but I was so lonely I could die. I'd been hospitalized 6 times in 3 months. The medications only made things worse. They changed them. It got worse, so they were changed again. And again. No matter what they put me on, my emotions only became more uncontrollable and sporadic.

Why was I worse? What was wrong with me?

Last week I went to the ER again. I was afraid for my life. When I went into a panic, I would lose control of reasonable thoughts. I knew that I was no longer safe at home, and I wanted them to help by admitted me to the inpatient hospital again. I told the physician my thoughts, and yet she refused to have me admitted because I "wasn't suicidal." It wasn't enough that I wanted to hurt myself when I was panicking. She wouldn't admit me because I was calm when she examined me and because I hadn't done anything yet. She told me to take my medications and to make an appointment with my therapist. The health care system definitely has some flaws I would say...

When she left I freaked out. I hid behind the hospital bed on the floor sobbing and shaking, despite the protests of my "babysitter" that made sure I didn't hurt myself. Why did I still have to have someone watching me if the physician thought that I was safe?!? Ha!

The nurse approached my bed an hour or so later with the discharge papers. I liked him. He had been pissed at how the physician had treated me. He was outspoken. Although I'm sure he wasn't supposed to say these next things to me, it made the whole visit to the ER worth every penny. He said that I had hypothyroidism, and that when you have that and mental illness the medications can be frequently prescribed in error. He explained that the thyroid regulates hormones and, therefore, many parts of the body. When the thyroid is messed up, it screws up other body systems. When you throw in antidepressants in a person with thyroid problems, it frequently has negative effects. But physicians typically ignore this. He proceeded to rant about the physicians. My primary care physician is in charge of my hypothyroidism, and ignores the mental illnesses. My psychiatrist treats my mental illnesses, and ignores my medical issues. The problem? When you have hypothyroidism and try to treat mental illnesses with medication, it can throw off the whole body.

This man was brilliant!

After that long night in the hospital I came home and began researching. Antidepressants are the enemy to hypothyroidism treatment. It explained why the medications had only increased my anxiety and depression, no matter how many different meds they tried. None of them worked! I also looked up my mood regulation medication... it too was not supposed to be prescribed to patients that had hypothyroidism. I looked up my anxiety medication and it too was not good. I couldn't believe it! After months of searching I had finally found hope!

I do not suggest you go against the orders of your doctors. I'm only telling my personal experience.

The primary care physician will not listen to my protests of inadequate maintenance of my thyroid. My psychiatrist thinks I'm being unreasonable for wanting to discontinue my medications. But I have to trust myself. I know that my situation is only becoming worse and I know that if this continues I may do something stupid. I needed a more specialized opinion. I have made an appointment with an endocrinologist to do more extensive study of my thyroid. It is also my hope that following closely with the endocrinologist will shed some light on possible options that can be discussed with my psychiatrist on how to treat my mental issues without interfering with my thyroid.

 Hope above hope I will get some much needed help and information from this specialist.

If you have thyroid issues, be sure to do extensive research before starting new medications. It is truly shocking how many medications can interfere (including birth control! *Gasp*).